Dear Snake Jacobs:
I am the Intake Specialist at Big Brothers Big Sisters of NYC. Your name has been given to us by Clyde to support his/her application to volunteer as a Big Brother/Sister.
Since 1904, Big Brothers Big Sisters of NYC has matched children with screened, trained, and regularly supervised mentors for one-to-one friendships. Mentors are volunteers who serve as positive, adult role models and who help to expand children's horizons and enrich their futures. Volunteers commit to spending 8 hours per month for a minimum of 1 year with a child in the community.
With that in mind, please answer all of the following questions to the best of your ability. Your answers will help us to determine if this applicant is appropriate for our program. All information you provide is kept STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL and will not be shared with the applicant.
Please complete the following questions as soon as possible so as not delay this person's application process!
YOUR FULL NAME:
PHONE #: yea right
1. How long have you known the applicant? 20 years.
2. In what capacity have you known the applicant? My best friend.
3. What do you consider the applicant's strengths? Not working with kids. Getting belligerent drunk and yelling at girls.
4. What do you consider the applicants weaknesses? Being responsible, taking care of himself, acting like an adult.
5. Do you know of any reason why the applicant would not be appropriate to
work with a child on a one-to-one basis? Definitely. How many do you need? How bout his addiction to strip clubs and river boat gambling trips?
6. Do you feel the applicant would serve as a positive role model for a child? Pacman Jones is a better role model.
Would you trust the applicant to spend time with a child you love? Why/why not? If Michael Jackson and R. Kelly were one person, I would trust that guy more than Clyde.
7. If applicable, please comment on the applicant’s home environment and living situation..
Two words... Shit Hole
8. Where do you see the applicant in five years? Being a shitty father to his 4 illigitimate kids.
Thank you for your time!
Sorry for wasting yours.